Breaking Dawn Parody

oh my f-ing god!!!
this is so f-ing hillarious!!!!

This was hilarious. *cackles delightedly*
It's always great fun to laugh at Twilight.
Nice job with Stephenie Meyer, I was cracking up at that part.

Quite nice. It really catches the whole "Twilight Saga" feel. You caught right on to Meyer's writing

*laughing hysterically*

ROFL! I literally laughed out loud! I love how Charlie is such an a-ahole to Bella! Especially at her wedding! Because nothing says fatherly love like verbal abuse! "Gosh Bella! You;re so uncooridnated"! lmao. but i like how true it was. it's seriously just Breaking Dawn in a nut shell. MAKE MORE! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?!?!? AND PS Edward has no personality

This was funny as h*** especially the bit about her wanting to kill herself and tripping over nothing. You should
have said something about the vampires tearing her a new one when her nose started bleeding though

fragile_heart(!) wrote:OMG
HAHAHA
I was literally laughing out loud. My mom gave me one of those 'my daughter is crazy for bursting out into hysterical laughter over nothing' looks.
Ahhh... *wipes eyes from tears*
Haa.
Wow,
you made my like... year.
:]

Winter....
That was brilliant thanks so much for posting that.
I love scripts so I invited a few friends round and we all acted that out!
It was the BEST sleepover we have had in ages so thanks for that

Now for my review:
I personally really liked it, the only thing I would say is that the cript needed to go somewhere. If you made a script liek that but actually brought it to a close it would be excellent.
Also I think you may have die-hard twilight fans out to kill you as you have clearly just taken the mick out of the books big time. I like the books but they are not the best in the world for the reasons you pointed out in your script.
Basically I loved it and so did everyone else who has commented so it was great!
Well Done
Keep Writing...

Just to leave a review to see if this can make it all the way to a year in comment build-ups, I found this parody rather entertaining and enjoyable. It made me laugh and some of it was very witty and well played ^_^.

Of course, I am not a Twilight fan (dont hurt me most of the people who commented on this). I read it all and hated every second of it. Probably cause of my upbring as i read the classics and my mom would tell me as soon as I was done The grapes of Wrath then I was allowed to read an anne rice book.

And anne rice is the queen of Vampires.

Either way, this was cute, short, and refreshing. Witty and some of the remarks were definitly worth a chuckle or to. Nice job

Oh my god, this definitely made my day!!!
You did an amazing job with this parody! Too many people are obsessed with the overated Twilight series, and to be honest with you, it gets kind of annoying, especially when your friends at school giggle about Edward Cullen all the freaking time.
You deserve a gold star!!!!

-Rosie =]

OMG!!!! This so funny. I wished the Twilight novels would have been that funny. One of my favorite part is this.

EDWARD: I KILL YOU!!!!! [Kills Jacob with his incredible vampire blood-sucking abilities!]



JACOB: [dies]



BELLA: OMG Edward! That was not very nice! Why would you do that? Why?? He was my only friend!! Now apologize.

Loved this way better than the real book.
X-D excellent job

*dies laughing* This made my day

That was epic. As soon as I saw repetition of pointless words I wondered wether you were going to mention lack of plot well you didn't disapoint . Meyer should be burned (on top of all her twilight books)

Myself I loath twilight more than football for what it has done to the world of reading. And your post showed me that some people still have some sence.

oh.my.goodness.

I nearly died laughing!
As soon as I was done reading it I sent a link to all my friends, they too are discussing it and crying with laughter!
I am so glad you mentioned the repetition of words, I get irritated by it all the time.
The only reason I am going to see the next movie is so I can laugh and Bella being all depressed and be glared at by all the twilight fans out there!

Hey there, Pink here
I'm sorry. I'm not here to review, it's just...I laughed so hard I almost fell off my chair. My parents were looking at me like I was psychotic or something.
This is best parody I've ever read, wonderful job. No, amazing job!
I'm sorry, I just had to comment...

~Pink

Hahahahahaha!
Even though I love Twilight but this is hilarious!

I actually rolled on the floor and laughed kind of hard, and my friend was looking at me like a mad person and was about to call my mom... *sigh*

*Gold stars*

Although I love Twilight,

this was hilarious!

I normally don't read scripts - but this was compltetly awesome. It made me laugh - I actually had to hide my face so people around wouldn't see, pretend to cough, exetera. This was great! Still laughing. I didn't think your grammar was bad - but then, mine's bad. No real critisism, just that it made me laugh and was an enjoyable read.
Ofir

Oh wow. I did not expect that at all. At first I was thinking to myself, 'what in the world is this, people have to stop messing the books up like this.' and then it was, 'This is so funny, What a great idea.' I loved how you brought the author into the story. And you really played off of Bella and Edward well. Haha. Loved it!

super funny!!

Thank you for the comments! They are very much appreciated.

Lukas8u: I understand what you are saying about working on other things. I just wanted to let you know that I am, in fact, working on what I hope will become a novel. I just posted the second part of chapter one. So, I suppose you could say that I am working on better things, depending on what you consider "better".

Also,

I have seen some of your original parodies, they are, frankly getting stale. You need to expand out of them and do something else.

This was hilarious. A Lot of my friends are obsessed with Twilight series; it gets a little annoying. This deserves a gold star! Great job. I hope you continue this.

Ok- I'm sorry to break the parade, but I didn't like this. I have seen some of your original parodies, they are, frankly getting stale. You need to expand out of them and do something else. The very fact that the first ones were so funny is a testament to you're good writing, and that's why you should do something else, because frankly the Twilight parodies are getting old.

Again I want to repeat that I say this not because I think you're bad, but because you can work on better things.

Lukas

Heehee. I really enjoyed this. I agree that you should work in a reaction to the blood, but other than that I can't fault it. The inclusion of Meyer was a nice touch.

lol!
thats got to be the most random thing ive ever read XD
i do like the twilight series but you've got a few good points there

thanks for the laugh

-Grimy

ha ha! i think I'm going to melt into tears.. tears of LAUGHTER !
Wow, this was such a good script, and non-threatening towards me.
Though i couldn't picture Carlisle drunk, hes too 'I'm a vampire doctor who can withstand gushing human blood and bella just fell into glass and jaspers freaking out, but im just gunna stand all cool like i dont care about blood seriousness' type of person.
But i can picture Bella, and Edward trying not to keep too close to her bloody chin,
and i can defiantly picture her tripping over air !
Typical Bella Swan, I do that every day.
and Edward, well, weather Stephenie Meyer wrote about Edward, or some teenage girl/boy wrote fan fiction about him, hes still perfect.
But i do love Jacob and when he died and Bella said "say sorry Edward" *burst into laughter.* Ohh, and how Jacob always says 'sure sure' has latched onto me,
and now i say it all the time *sighs*
My mother just came in, because I'm still laughing hysterically.
She might think I'm on drugs now, but its just twilight

Anyway, great script, so funny, you should be a twilight comedian or something
~Brooke~
---marshmellow warrior----
twilight fan

OMG THAT WAS SOOOO COOOOL!!!!
XD THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNNNIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D:D:D:D
lmao

I hurt myself trying not to laugh aloud and get a 'what's so funny'? from my brother. This was hilarious! Just SO many things going on at once, and all of them so funny, this was just GREAT!! I had wondered what all the fuss was about, it seemed like every other person was commenting on this. I love this! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! Gold Star!


-Tex

OMG. LOLLOLLOOLOLOL.

This takes LOL to a whole new level.

ROTFLOLOOB
(Roll on the floor laughing out loud out of breath)

Hi there!

Ha i was a fan of twilight after the first 20 times i read it but it lost its flare and i thought it was the most idiotic thing! Now i can think of it calmly again because of this! Its so funny i couldnt help to laugh! I had to call my friend and boyfriend to read it to them and i couldnt read straight because i was laughing so hard!


HAhahaha

XOXO - Leyah

That was great and hilarious! If anyone says you ruined the book/series then remind them that it's a PARODY. It's supposed to be funny!

that was actually hysterical.
normally I don't like parodies, but this was well done.
I liked it.
good job.

TOPAZ!!
Omg, I LOVED this!!
Lol.
I was like, 'IDC how funny it is, I won't laugh. My mom's doing homework."
And I got to the part with Carlisle && just about wet myself laughing.
Then my mom goes "SHHHHH!!!!" which makes me laugh even harder!
**wipes tear from eyeball**
**claps**
In the words of Paul Kevin Jonas the Second...
Nicely done.
=]
<33GiGi

I really liked this, I Loooove twilight, don't get me wrong. I own all the books and I've seen the movie like three times. I also found this peice really funny. I mean the books are a great story, but to an extent Edward and Bella are literally crazy. He wants to kill her and somehow she finds it cute. O_o. Some of Meyer's stuff is cliched and isn't exactly unpredictable. Like I said, I love the books, but what sells those books, is really just the idea of OCD Edward. I especially loved when Meyer threw in Dazzled...and Icy...and Dazzled. The bit about Bella losing a hand was great, I had this whole mental image and everything. Haha. Nice work.

Okay so this is probably the most hilarious parody I've ever seen. I like how you made fun of meyer without being outright mean, it made my day
I read the twilight series, but I really don't think they are written very well at all. Thanks for writing this, it's just outright hilarious. But, I think you could make Edward even MORE concieted :]

XD XD AIR PLEASE...!

My Favorite Parts:

EDWARD: It's ok Bella. It's ok. Stephenie Meyer won't hurt you.

and

STEPHENIE MEYER: [suddenly appears next to EDWARD and BELLA] I think I need to add a few more words to this script to make it good. Let’s see… umm… well God-like, of course. What else… dazzle. And… umm... topaz. And beautiful. Masochistic, for sure. And cold and icy. And God-like. And icy. DAZZLE! There, perfect. You may continue with your script now.

Great Parody, can't wait for more

Thanks for reviewing/commenting to everyone who liked it/didn't like it! And thanks for the gold stars! I love writing these, they're such a great way to waste time. I have written a New Moon Parody (I know I'm doing this out of order) and it is in the script section. I'm not done with it and it's not as good as this one yet, but it will be soon!

It's exactly right! All she did was take shallow characters and exaggerate their personalities. That's normally what you do in a parody. You should also use spell check. ^_^
To all Twilight obsess-ees who read this: Chill out. She never said she hated Twilight. It's just a parody.

It's refreshing to read this because I was starting to think I was crazy for hating the books. This was funny and yet so true.

danielle_that_girl15 wrote:I am not trying to be rude at all. But the way that you portray the characters is not right. It doesn't have that much detail to go with it. I cannot like the story for discreninating agianst the Twilight serise so much, since i love the serise.
-Danielle

i was laughing....SO HARD.

my favorite line is this one:

"CHARLIE: [chuckles] You’ll be fine. Keep walking."

just..the Keep Walking part just made me laugh for liek four minutes straight!! i applaude you, adieu adieu.

Hilarious *claps* absolutely genius
I love you so much for this It was amazing. Hahahah
I can't even comment 'cuz my stomach is sore from laughing *lols*
crap review, much?
Anyway, a gold star is in order. Most definitely.




~Kirsten
xxx

Cool, I love it!

Hi! I started reading Twilight about 3 weeks ago (finished all the books within a week) and I love it. I'm not an obsessed fan like my friends (they have shirts, posters, jewelry, the whole lot!) but I did enjoy it. Though I have to say that Edward was a little sappy. Like when he was gushing about how much he missed Bella, using metaphors of stars and comets (excuse me... comet) but I thought it was nice. I hated all the attention it got when it first came out, because I was sure that other books deserved it more. But after I read it, I have to say that it was really sweet.
I agree on the fact that New Moon wasn't the best book ever. It was by far my least favorite. But there is no way that I would refer to the Twilight saga as "the most boring,overrated, terrible pieces of literature of all time."
I thought your story was extremely offensive toward Stephenie Meyer.(I don't see you having any published stories!) I did smile when I read the scene where Jacob is asking Bella to make out with him. Funny and so true! (I'm not a Jacob fan. At all.) But, I just can't really bring myself to like this. Sorry.

-Ali

Lmao this is funny but you forgot to mention the sex that takes place throughout the whole damn book. But i think this was hilarious!! Do you have any other parodies of the Twilight books? If so please message me so i can look them up! Keep writing!!

Thank you so much! I absolutley hate Twilight. The author cant go a whole page without gushing about Edward PUKE! She only really created a sick fantasy world for disturbed fangirls!
These were the most boring,overrated, terrible pieces of literature of all time. The author is pretty much ripping off every other vampire romance novel, and she honestly is only writing these books because she A. has a sick psychotic crush on edward cullen or B she thinks she has talent. SHE CANT EVEN Write a real story! TWILIGHT SUCKS!

Hahahaha!
Wow that was funny.
As you probably can see I'm a big twilight fan *points to picture*
I mean if this was the real twilight it wouldn't sell
But I thought it was great

I am not trying to be rude at all. But the way that you portray the characters is not right. It doesn't have that much detail to go with it. I cannot like the story for discreninating agianst the Twilight serise so much, since i love the serise. Other than that it was quiet funny and you are a great writer. Keep up the work!

-Danielle

Wow that was amazing ((grins)) I love twilight but that was so funny.

haha. it may not have been well written--but it was hilarious! and im a hardcore twilight fan! that was actually really funny

Ahahahaha, I usually don't go for parodies, but this was hilarious. It was absolutely fantastic, usually subtlety is more effective, but I think this style works for a Breaking Dawn parody. Very nice

You're the first thirteen year old, besides myself (last year) I've ever, er, seen, for lack of a better word, that isn't in love with Twilight, which is kind of sad

I seriously love these kinds of stories.
I end up laughing like those crazy maniacs people normally lock up in mental institutions for a long, long time.
One thing though, if Bella is bleeding...
Why aren't Edward and the other vampires showing any reaction to her blood?
But I guess this is your parody, and nothing has to make perfect sense, right?
Excellent, I simply loved it.

haha, sorry for being unclear. I was a little pressed for time since I was in class.

What I mean by punctuation is that you have--for instance--several exclamation points in a row. I know you're going for over-the-top-in-your-face-attitude here, but by toning it down into a completely normal you could--if done right--create an air of seriousness. I'm sure not many would really find it funny, since I'm kind of the dry, look-deep-into-the-words kind of funny fan. Sorry, I don't think I'm making much sense XD

I don't really remember where I was going with my critique...I had this idea in my head of the possibilities you could try, but I just kinda lost them all XD so don't mind me!! I enjoyed your piece, but yet think it could be better XD

--meow

I'm not a very witty person. I do have a talent for sarcasm, but for some reason it it hard for me to come up with witty things. By the way, I don't really have anything against Stephenie Meyer. I actually think that she is a pretty good writer if you ignore the repetition of certain words. The only reason that I portrayed her as an idiot in my script is that I thought it would be entertaining. I don't think that she is anything like that in real life. I do have a lot of respect for her, as she is a best-selling author. Also, little.angelfire, I really didn't understand what you were trying to say in your edit. Something about punctuation and being serious and trying different styles? Could you clarify that for me? Thanks for the reviews!
-Winter

I'm sure my fellow reviewers have nitpicked enough, so let me just say - I loved it. I'm not one to laugh aloud, but it certainly amused me. I have to disagree with the above reviewer about the witty thing. It was witty enough, and there's not much else you could do to make it 'wittier' that wouldn't mess up the whole script. I'd just say, keep it as is.

Thanks for the =D!

-SELA

ahahaha, I liked this XD *is a fan of Twilight, though* Still made me giggle ^.~

Okay...this isn't really a critique or anything, but just a little pet peeve. Don't judge Stephenie's writing on the Twilight series. Read The Host first, and then judge. Honestly, I enjoyed reading Twilight, but The Host is amazing compared to that. Seriously! Anyone that's read Twilight and liked or hated it, should read The Host! Amazing!

haha, sorry, didn't really say anything about your piece XD One critquy thing I'd like to say about it is that when you're doing a satire and totally ripping on a piece, try and be a little cunning with it. The piece is dripping with sarcasm, and I do assume that you tried to do that, but cut back and be witty about it. It would pull a lot more than giggles out of me, then XD

--meow

[EDIT] I was just reading over the other comments, and just thought, you know, the puncuation really does bother me in here. Not for the fact that they are useless, and I understand why you use them, but because of the fact that it would be better if you made it seem serious. Very serious. Because it creates even more giggle-making fun. Just a suggestion to throw out there if you decide to do more of these. Try different styles, and you might become an expert of writing comical things like this.

Thanks Shadowbox, but I'm not really interested in being on youtube. I'm glad you liked it though!

This was the best.
Even though I don't know you. I love you for making it.

You should actually make it a little movie and put it on youtube or something, it would be a hit. That is my critique. This is not good until it is actually a movie!
THEN IT IS FANTASTIC!

You could be an internet-sensation for all those who hate or loath Stephanie Meyer or just Twilight.


Do it.

ANd become Queen of the Internets.

This is my professional opinion.

Thanks for the gold stars!! Yes, I was definitely going for spastic because I think it makes the whole thing less realistic but much more entertaining. I'll write more. I'm thinking about a New Moon parody because the book was simply awful. The plot was: Edward leaves, three hundred pages of Bella being a depressed, psychotic teenager, and Edward attempting suicide. If it wasn't for Edward, these books would not be popular. That's why New Moon was so painful and boring to read.

Hey Winter!

I'm a pretty big fan of scripts. There's just something about this style of writing that makes everything more entertaining.
I'm also a big, hypocritical fan of Twilight! (It's a love/hate thing.)
This was funny, spastic, and completely relevant! Many things I dislike about the Twilight series were included. Especially Stephenie Meyer's use of the words God-like, icy, and dazzle. *shudder*
You kept a constant fast pace and moved through the scenes well. Your use of things like CAPS and multiple exclamation points make the story all the more spastic. (Which I'm pretty sure you were going for.)
So, you won't hear any complaints for me. I loved it!
Gold star for awesomeness.


*anti-pop

I like Twilight.In-fact I watched the movie just about half an hour ago but I wasn't insulted by your HILARIOUS script! Seriously, I loved it! ^^ Here goes..... a Gold star!!Bringing yourself into the story was a brilliant idea! Do write more!

P.S.I haven't read the books but does Stephanie Meyer really repeat words like that?

Teardrop:
I'm so sorry to have taken the seriousness out of the series. I honestly didn't mean to. This is my other posting of this script; the other is in the script forum. In my other post I explained that this was not intended to offend or insult any Twilight fans, Stephenie Meyer, or her series. I sincerely apologize, because I hate it when other writers ruin a book or movie for me. I hope you understand that I wrote this purely for my own entertainment.

To everyone else, thanks for reading! I'm glad you liked it!

Grr, I'm sorry but I can't laugh or think it's funny. It only annoyed me really. It's takes the serious quality about the Twilight series I love.

But for others this IS hilarious, just not me.

Well I didn't like the part were Jacob died but the rest was hilarious.Especially the part were Clarisse is drunk. I think it was a smart idea to make this into script form because it would be very confusing if written like a book. Over all I loved it (except for the part were Jacob died.). Oh I would give you grammar help, but I suck at that so, yeah. Nice story keep writing!!

OMG
HAHAHA
I was literally laughing out loud. My mom gave me one of those 'my daughter is crazy for bursting out into hysterical laughter over nothing' looks.
Ahhh... *wipes eyes from tears*
Haa.
Wow,
you made my like... year.
:]